the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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