Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
