I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you didnt know i had herpes?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
