Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
