woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
