Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
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Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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