Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
