all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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