I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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