what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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