office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
the day after is always just damage control
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
