im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
