Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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