Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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