i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
