No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
