Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I licked your asshole in confidence.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
