spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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