Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
