I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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