When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
