My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Randomize