If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The power of my boobs compel you
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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