We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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