I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
