I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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