i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
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You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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