even my farts smell like vagina
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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