I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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