Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize