You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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