great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize