Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
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I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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