I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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