Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
