Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
