this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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