Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
