I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
