Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
foreskin is a definite game changer
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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