Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
And then my night got REAL pukey
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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