While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize