I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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