She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
is it fun? or sober?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
