Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
