Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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