people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize