I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
