Your face is a jimmy john
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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