so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
