some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Bring me that man meat
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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