i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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