After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
A bitchslap is in order.
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