On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
