im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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