The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
