think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
why do cheetos always look like penises
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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