i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
