Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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