Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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