the condom got lost in my hair
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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