I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
