Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize